


I'm Safer With You

by masterroadtripper



Series: Inside these glass walls [1]
Category: In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: Alabanza-song, Blackout-song, Canonical Character Death, Don't worry, Fighting, Finale-song, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Protecting the bodega, Protective Usnavi de la Vega, Referenced Suicide Attempt, Sleeping Together, Trans Male Character, Trans Sonny de la Vega, Usnavi de la Vega Tries, everything works out, not in great detail just something to keep in mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-08 22:08:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17989394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterroadtripper/pseuds/masterroadtripper
Summary: Beginning with the blackout, Sonny finds his life abruptly turned upside down.  The only constants seem to be Pete (who is his secret boyfriend) and Usnavi (who is trying his hardest to prevent Sonny from doing something he may regret).So turn up the stage lights because you'll be takin' a flight to a couple of days in the life of what it's like En Washington Heights!





	1. Blackout

Sonny was just getting ready to close the bodega when the power went out. Initially, Sonny didn’t panic. They had been having little miniature power outages all spring and summer in the Heights, so this wasn’t unusual. The only thing that got his heart rate a little ramped up was when he headed out front to try to close the grate. That was when he realized that it was broken. And whose fault was it that it was still broken? His own damn fault. Usnavi had asked him to get Mr. Rosario to take a look at it earlier that day. And what had he done instead? Hung out with Pete.

But it didn’t really worry Sonny yet, because the power outages had only lasted about ten minutes maximum lately. So Sonny headed back into the store, locking the glass door behind him, and finding something to occupy his time before the power came back on and he could head back home. The time dragged on and soon, the power had been out for a half hour. It was around that time that Sonny felt the fear settling into his gut. The power never stayed off this long.

Then he heard a loud crash outside. Staying out of view from the windows like Usnavi had taught him, Sonny headed towards the store front and was able to get a look at the street. It looked like someone had thrown a trash can at the Rosario’s cab dispatch. The grate had protected it. It would only be moments before they realized that the De La Vega Bodega still had its grate up. Then there was a loud rattling at the door. Sonny jumped and pressed himself closer to the shelf, boxes of candy digging into his back. Soon, the rattle was replaced with a constant “rat a tat tat” in the rhythm of the drum line to his secret boyfriend, Pete’s, favorite song. Sighing and slouching away from the shelf, Sonny ran to the door and unlocked it just long enough to let Pete inside.

“They’re throwing bottles in the streets,” Pete said frantically, grabbing Sonny’s arm and pulling him away from the windows, “people are looting and shooting Sonny. They want to see a robbery. We gotta get moving!”

While Sonny trusted Pete, enough to even add with his life, Sonny found himself arguing, “No man, I can’t leave! We gotta guard the store!”

He watched Pete let out an exasperated groan, looking at the heavens as if to say,”good lord how did I get stuck with this dumbass?” That look alone made Sonny want to leave with Pete, but he stuck to his guns.

But Pete continued to argue, “They’re gonna bombard the store, you ain’t got a store.”

“I gotta baseball bat on the rack in the back,” Sonny added, hoping it would change Pete’s mind. As much as he knew he owed it to his cousin to keep the store front safe, if Pete left now, Sonny didn’t think he would have it in him to stay alone.

“I got a couple roman candles, we can distract the vandals,” Pete said, digging into his backpack and pulling out what looked like a piece of dynamite from the cartoons Usnavi and Benny used to show him after school. Sonny saw a bunch of people getting closer, like a pack of jackals closing in on their prey.

“Hey, yo, I see some thugs comin', man, we gonna get jacked up,” Sonny said, desperately trying to act calm. He didn’t want to let Pete know how terrified he truly was in that moment.

“Gimme a light,” Pete said, snatching the flashlight from Sonny’s hands, “I’ll be right back!” Sonny didn’t even manage to get a word in edgewise before Pete and his candles ran out of the store.

Then he saw the lights of the fireworks burst in through the windows of the bodega. It may have been hours or minutes before Pete came back through. Upon seeing him, Sonny let out a breath he didn’t realize that he was holding.

“Are you hurt?” Sonny asked, jumping to his feet and reaching out to see if Pete was okay.

“Nah Sonny, I’m fine, but we seriously gotta get out of here, it's not safe,” Pete said, putting a large, warm hand on either of Sonny’s biceps. Sonny had to try to keep his brain from going the fuck offline at the contact – this was not the damn time. Get your brain out of the gutter Sonny, he told himself.

“Lemme phone Usnavi, maybe he and Benny can come down…?” Sonny said, trailing off as he remembered that his cousin and his cousin’s best friend had gone to the club. But so had Pete, and yet here Pete was. So where were Benny and Usnavi. He suddenly felt so alone.

“We are not staying here,” Pete practically shouted, “fuck the store man, you’re no use to your cousin if you end up in the hospital.”

“This is all we have Pete,” Sonny shouted back, “I can’t leave it!”

“The fuck you can’t,” Pete shouted this time. Like, actually shouted. Sonny couldn’t remember the last time Pete had yelled at him. Probably because it never happened. “People are distracted with the fireworks. Sonny, its now or never!”

“Okay Pete,” Sonny said, looking at his feet.

“You have a key to Abuela Claudia’s place, right?” Pete asked, taking the baseball bat that Sonny didn’t realize he was still holding from his hands.

“Yeah, practically live there anyways,” Sonny said, digging into his pocket and pulling out the little key ring Usnavi had given him on his twelve birthday. It seemed like a dumb gift at the time, but once his mom went into rehab, they couldn't pay for the services at their apartment and Sonny moved in with his cousin.

“Alright, let’s get going,” Pete said, grabbing Sonny’s hand, linking their fingers together and running across the street. They took the stairs two at a time up to the third floor, where Abuela Claudia’s apartment was. Unlocking the door as quietly as possible, in the slim case that Abuela Claudia managed to sleep through all the chaos, Sonny slipped inside and let Pete in. He realized that he was walking on thin ice, letting Pete into their apartment, but he would fight tooth and nail to make Abuela Claudia let Pete say the night.

“Sonny, is that you?” Usnavi’s voice asked from the direction of the living room.

“Yeah man,” Sonny replied, trying to keep his voice from shaking. He didn’t mind letting Usnavi know that he was scared, but he was still very aware of the fact that Pete was standing behind him. Pete couldn’t know.  He had to stay strong.

“Are you okay?” Usnavi asked, rising from the couch. He stopped and stuttered a little when he obviously saw Pete behind Sonny.

“Yeah, we’re fine. Pete got me home safe,” Sonny said, marginally pleased with the small smile it got from Usnavi. Usnavi sighed deeply before pulling Sonny in for a hug.

“I’m just glad you’re safe,” Usnavi said into Sonny’s curled hair, “now go get changed, you stink.” Sonny smiled and quickly ran off to his room, trying hard to not look behind him for Pete. 

* * *

 

“Please stay the night, its not safe to go back out there,” Usnavi said and Pete wondered if he had been knocked out in the street and was dreaming. Not in a billion years did he imagine that the older cousin of the guy he was secretly dating was going to let him stay the night. Because Usnavi hated him. Right? He always assumed it was because he was...rather gay. But, maybe he had been reading the situation entirely wrong.

“Thanks Mr. De La Vega,” Pete said, shuffling a little from where he stood.

“Usnavi, please,” he said, “you’re not a bad guy Pete. Now let me go get you a toothbrush and some face wipes. C’mon.” Pete was convinced he was dead. Or, at the least, he would wake up in an ER tomorrow morning. But it seemed rather real as he followed Usnavi to the washroom and watched as he dug through a few drawers before finally pulling out one of those weird single use toothbrushes that you get from the dentist. Then, he pulled out a container of baby wipes. Pete looked at them weirdly, what was he supposed to do with those?

“Wash your face. No water needed,” Usnavi said and suddenly Pete understood. That was actually kind of a neat idea. Pete stood in a weird awkward silence as Usnavi continued to dig through the washroom. He had never in his life believed that he would even get to go inside the De La Vega residence through its front door, let alone sleepover.

“Here,” Usnavi said, passing Pete one last thing. It was about an inch and a half square, and when Pete took it from Usnavi’s hand and felt it, he realized what he was being passed.

“Usnavi, man, I don’t know what you’re thinking but –,” Pete said, trying to give Usnavi back the little metallic package. Had Usnavi seriously just given him condom?

“Pete, I’m not a dumbass, please don’t pretend that you don’t sneak up that fire escape every other night. And I’m not blind enough to miss how he looks at you. I’m not saying you have to “do it” now or ever, but please, for both of your sakes, just stick it in those pockets of yours,” Usnavi said, looking like what Pete imagined a concerned father would look like. Even though Usnavi was only twenty four, he looked so much older in that moment. Nodding and giving Usnavi a little smile, he did as Usnavi asked and shoved it deep into his pocket.

“Now go get some sleep, you look like you’re about to pass out,” Usnavi said, clapping Pete on the back as he moved around him and out of the washroom.

“Usnavi wait,” Pete said, “the grate at the bodega wouldn’t close.”

“What–...what do you mean?” Usnavi asked, as if he wasn’t able to deal with anymore at the moment.

“The grate wouldn’t go down. We had to leave the store before anything happened to us,” Pete said. He saw a frown pass Usnavi’s face briefly before he gave his head a little shake.

“You two are safe. We’ll deal with what is left of the store tomorrow. I think we all need to sleep right now.” Pete watched as Usnavi wandered down the hall before heading towards the door that he had seen Sonny go into earlier. Sonny’s door was now closed, so he knocked on it softly.

“Oi, what do you want Usnavi?” Sonny asked flinging the door open with an adorable frown on his face. Then Sonny’s eyes locked with Pete’s and he saw the younger man look down at his feet. In the light shining in from the window, he could see that Sonny had been crying, his eyes and cheeks stained red and shiny from tears.

“I’m not Usnavi,” Pete said jokingly, hoping to make Sonny laugh, or at least smile.

“Why are you still here?” Sonny asked, sticking his head out his bedroom door and looking down the hall, as if he was looking for Usnavi.

“Usnavi said I could stay the night,” Pete reported. Sonny snorted a little.

“Are you sure that's what he told you?” Sonny questioned sarcastically, stepping aside to let Pete into his room via the actual door for the first time.

“Didn’t question it,” Pete said, reaching out for Sonny’s arms once again, “are you okay though?”

“Yeah,” Sonny said, sniffling a little, “just a little tired, s’all.”

“Uh-huh,” Pete said, though he didn't believe Sonny, before leaning forward and kissing the frown off Sonny’s face. “Let's get into bed. You look exhausted.”

“Okay,” Sonny muttered, leaning forward into the solid mass of Pete’s chest and tucking his head into the little nook under his chin. They fit so nice together, Pete noticed, not for the first time.

“C’mon Sonny, you have to help a little,” Pete said walking them backwards towards Sonny’s bed. He sat Sonny down on the edge before he pulled off the smaller man’s loose tank top. Next came the white binder – he really didn’t want Sonny to fall asleep in that. Once Sonny was ready to sleep safely, he let him flop down onto the bed while Pete pulled off his own shirt and shorts, leaving his underwear on, before returning the favour for Sonny. Once they were both in just their underwear, Pete wedged himself against the wall and pulled Sonny into his embrace, his front to Sonny’s back.

“G’night, cariño,” Pete whispered, putting his lack of Spanish knowledge to good use as Sonny’s breathing evened out and they fell asleep together.


	2. Alabanza

Sonny never liked the sounds of sirens. They always were a constant reminder that something was going wrong for someone. He always seemed to be able to hear them, and they just absolutely stressed him out every time. Then they would get closer and louder and he would hold his breath, hoping the sound would pass, continue on to another neighbourhood.

Through the impromptu dancing and miniature carnival that Daniella had somehow managed to start with a few lines of music, Sonny could still hear the sounds of a siren. There were people shouting, singing, dancing and he was being jostled around but through it all, he could hear the shrill whooping of an emergency vehicle. He could feel his heart beating even faster than it already was from his argument with Usnavi, so he stepped out of the crowd to try to get a breather. Standing out of the crowd let him have a breather, his chest fighting to get a full breath in past the binder.

Once his heart rate slowed, he was able to focus on the sound of the siren, getting closer and closer. Sonny wanted to hear the sound get quieter, signalling the fact that it was passing through onto another neighbourhood, but it never did. Then the siren turned off and what felt like an entire brick settled into Sonny’s gut. He ran up the stairs he was near to street level and took a quick look around. He saw no fire trucks or police cars, but just past the awning of the bodega, still ripped and hanging like a limp flag, he could see the flickering lights of an ambulance.

Sonny tried not to let his brain jump to conclusions, but as he ran down the street, chest starting to heave in the heat, he felt the panic starting to set in. The ambulance was parked outside their townhouse block, and Sonny immediately started digging through his pockets. Where were his damn keys? And was Abuela Claudia okay? She was the oldest resident of their little complex, but she had to be okay. Right? As he walked up to the building, he finally managed to pull his keys out, but before he could race up the stairs, Nina came running down.

“Sonny,” Nina said, her hands on his cheeks, “its Claudia.”

“No its not,” Sonny immediately denied, his head starting to shake frantically back and forth. It couldn’t be her.

“Where’s Usnavi?” Nina asked, dropping her hands to grasp Sonny’s hands in hers, “he won’t answer any of my calls.”

“Down by the salon, they’re having a little Carnival,” Sonny replied, looking up the stairs towards their apartment.

“Don't go up there,” Nina said warningly before sprinting down the street. He was never good at following instructions, and besides, that warning just made it sound worse. Sonny then took the stairs two at a time up to their apartment. The door was wide open, so he just went inside. There were two paramedics standing in the living room area, so Sonny ran up to them.

“Where is she?” he asked, trying to keep his voice from cracking, “where’s Abuela Claudia?”

“Are you her grandson?” the one paramedic asked, crossing his arms over his hugely muscled torso.

“Yeah,” Sonny said, not bothering to explain their actual relationship. That Claudia wasn’t his abuela, just the lady that not only took that position but also that of the mother he never really had.

“Why don’t you come sit down with us?” the lady paramedic offered, pointing at the living room couch.

“No, I don’t want to,” Sonny said, trying to move around the two paramedics, “I wanna go see Abuela Claudia.”

“Kid, we’re sorry, but your abuela is dead. Her heart gave out around noon. We did all we could, but she was already gone when Nina found her,” the paramedic said. It was possible that they kept talking, but Sonny didn’t hear another thing. Instead, he just stood there, desperately willing his brain to do something. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, but then there were some more paramedic people that walked into their apartment. Soon after, Usnavi and Nina came back in. Usnavi went to the paramedics while he felt himself being dragged out of their building by Nina.

They sat on the stoop, the one Abuela used to sit on when Nina pulled Sonny into a hug. That was when he felt the tears start to fall. Tears for the lady that practically raised him, tears for the one person who never questioned him, tears for the lady who had handed him fifty dollars to buy his first binder, tears for the lady who had saved his life. When Nina pulled him closer to her chest, as if she was shielding him from the world, he knew they were bringing Abuela Claudia out from their apartment, to start her one way journey to the morgue.

Then he heard Usnavi from behind them, starting to address the neighbourhood, who, upon further examination had all stopped partying with Daniella to come see what was happening. “She was found and pronounced, at the scene, she was already lying in bed,” Usnavi said, his voice cracking and becoming weaker by the second. Sonny wanted to comfort his cousin, but he didn’t know how, and even if he did, he didn’t think he’d be able to move.

“The paramedics said, that her heart gave out,” Usnavi continued, “I mean, that's basically what they said, they said a combination of the stress and the heat and why she never took her medicine, I’ll never understand.” Sonny stopped listening after that, his vision starting to swim and his brain getting fuzzy. He wanted to run. Run far away from this place and everything that reminded him of when Abuela Claudia was still alive. He wanted to get away. Then people started singing, and that was went Sonny stood. It felt like the stoop was on fire, like he couldn’t sit there anymore without being physically injured by it. So he moved away, all the way across the street and proceeded to stare into the broken remains of the bodega. But all that did was remind him of the fact that Abuela would never poke her head in to deliver them a lunch or ask for bread crumbs ever again.

When Benny resting his hands on Sonny’s shoulders, pulling him in for a hug and shutting out the rest of the world, he let himself shed a few more tears. “Its okay little homie,” Benny said, holding Sonny tighter, “its okay to cry.”

“I need to go Benny,” Sonny said, trying to keep his voice low, like he had been practicing.

“Are you going to Pete’s?” Benny asked, adjusting Sonny’s cap as he let their embrace loosen.

“Yeah,” Sonny replied and broke away from Benny, running down the street as fast as his feet could carry him. He didn’t even once question how Benny would have guessed that that was where he was going, he just ran and focused on the pounding of his feet on the pavement.

* * *

Pete wasn’t really doing much. It was too damn hot to go outside and do any art, but then while he was inside, he felt like there was nothing to inspire his art. So instead, he found himself lying on the cold tile floor staring at the roof. Pete wasn’t sure how long he had been contemplating the source of the bizarre water stain on the roof before he heard the frantic knocking on his apartment door.

He sat up quicker than he thought he could, his nerves all still a little jumpy from the blackout just last night. Giving himself a few seconds to let all the blood in his brain resettle to the rest of his body, Pete hauled himself to his feet and went to the door. Taking a look through the peephole, he saw Sonny, who was shifting side to side, his face red and streaked in tears. Pulling the door open, the second he locked eyes on Sonny, he burst into full on sobs.

Pete pulled him inside, enveloped him in his arms and closed the door. Pete slowly moved his boyfriend, his small body shaking with violent sobs, to the couch in the living room and sat, letting Sonny collapse on top of him. Once Sonny was curled into Pete’s chest, his head resting just under Pete’s collarbone, arms wrapped around each other, he whispered, “Shhh Sonny, its okay,” into Sonny’s curly hair.

Sonny sniffled a little before saying, “no its not.” Pete had no idea how to respond to that without knowing the background behind why Sonny was so upset, so he just kept smoothing his hand through Sonny’s hair, whispering soft little clips of spanish endearments he had heard here and there.

“Did you hear?” Sonny asked, his voice cracking a little on the end, the strain of superficially making it sound lower showing.

“I haven’t heard much of anything today cariño,” Pete said, the hand not in Sonny’s hair smoothing circles on Sonny’s back, under his loose brown tank top, over top of the bottom of his binder.

“Abuela Claudia passed away at noon,” Sonny managed to squeak out before he burst out into more sobs.

“Shhh cariño,” Pete said into Sonny’s hair, pulling him in tight, “she was suffering. Now she’s in a much better place. She’s probably looking down on you right now from her stoop in heaven smiling.” Even though Pete wasn’t religious, nor believed in any type of God, he knew that the De La Vega’s did, so he dredged up his religion knowledge from his years as a ward of the state.

“I miss her already,” Sonny said, looking up at Pete, his eyes ringed in red and cheeks smeared with tears.

“I know you do Sonny, but she’s in a better place now. She’s not in pain and she’s not suffering. She’s doing a lot better now,” Pete said, his religion knowledge starting to run dry. He didn’t remember as much about church as he obviously thought he did.

“I can’t imagine how Usnavi is feeling right now,” Sonny said once the tears finally stopped, “He has no one now.”

“He has you,” Pete said, planting a kiss on Sonny’s forehead.

“In the span of ten years, he’s lost both his parents, their store and now his abuela. At least my mom is still alive,” Sonny said and Pete could see the young man trying to reason with his brain. Trying to find a reason to stay strong for someone who Sonny looked up to. The one male role-model he had ever had in the first sixteen years of his life.

“You don’t have to stay strong for Usnavi cariño,” Pete said, his hand continuing its circles under Sonny’s shirt, “he has Vanessa and the Rosarios. You have me. We’ll get through this, I promise.”

They laid together on the couch, just simply enjoying the silence of the moment. Adjusting their position, Pete laid down on his back, head against the arm of the couch and let Sonny curl up on his stomach like he pictured an infant would. As heavy as Sonny was, it wasn’t terribly uncomfortable and he seemed to like it. So Pete didn’t move.

The sun started to dip behind the surrounding buildings when Pete’s stomach started protesting that it was hungry. Sonny giggled at the feeling of the rumbling and they stood to move to the kitchen to see what was in Pete’s fridge. There wasn’t a ton to eat, but there was crackers, cheese and lemonade, and that was good enough. Around seven that evening, Pete’s landline rang, causing their second couch cuddle to be interrupted.

“Good evening,” he answered, not recognizing the number of the caller.

“Is this Pete?” a voice he vaguely recognized asked. It definitely wasn’t Usnavi, he would have recognized not only the number but also the voice instantly.

“Yah, it is,” Pete replied.

“Hey, its Benny,” the voice – Benny – replied and Pete cracked a smile. He had always liked Benny, even if he was the friend of Usnavi.

“Hey man, if you’re wondering, and I assume you are, Sonny is still at my place,” Pete said, turning behind him and looking at Sonny, who, upon hearing his name had poked his metaphorical ears up at the mention. Pete mouthed, “its Benny,” to Sonny. Sonny gave him a thumbs up, a half smile and flopped back down on the couch.

“Yeah, Usnavi was just panicking a little. Usnavi wanted him to come home, but I managed to convince him that he was probably better off staying the night with you,” Benny reported.

“I’m amazed you convinced him,” Pete replied.

“I can be quite convincing when I want to,” Benny said, “But yeah, Usnavi is standing behind me, so I’m gonna pass the phone to him and he’ll probably wanna yell at you or something.” Pete heard the fumbling of a phone over the line and muffled talking before he heard the voice of Sonny’s cousin.

“Hey Pete,” Usnavi said, sounding more tired and worn out than Pete had ever heard – and that was saying something about the man who worked 80 hour work weeks.

“Hey man, my condolences about everything, I know how much Claudia meant to you guys,” Pete said, trying to start the conversation off on a good foot.

“Thanks,” Usnavi said, “I’ll keep this short, I gotta get going, but Sonny can stay with you tonight. Probably better that he doesn’t come back right now.”

“That bad?” Pete asked, trying to keep his question as vague as possible so Sonny didn’t catch on.

“Yeah, she passed away around noon in our apartment, not sure how much Sonny saw, but the last thing I want is for anything to come flooding back,” Usnavi explained. Pete remembered one time Sonny saying that Usnavi had watched his parents die. Practically right in front of him, nonetheless. It made sense, all things considered.

“Alright, I’ll bring him home tomorrow morning then,” Pete said, “get some sleep Usnavi, Sonny’s okay with me.”

“Thanks man, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Usnavi said before hanging up. Pete put the phone back on the wall and turned to Sonny, who had returned to sitting on the couch, a genuine smile crossing his face for the first time since he had entered his apartment that afternoon.

“Do I get to sleepover?” Sonny asked, looking like a giddy child who was just told that they get to sleepover with their grandparents for an evening. Probably not the best analogy all things considered.

“Yeah, Usnavi said it would be okay,” Pete replied.

“Maybe he’s finally warming up to you,” Sonny said, making grabby hands in Pete’s direction.

“Let’s hope so,” Pete said, leaning down to his latino boyfriend and planting a kiss on his lips.


	3. Finale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, there is mention of Sonny attempting suicide, if thats a trigger, stop reading when you get to the second perspective shift (from Sonny to Pete again)
> 
> I added a little bit at the end to wrap up the story. I didn't have enough content to make a whole new chapter, so I just added another few paragraphs instead.

“Pete?” he heard Sonny say. They were laying on Pete’s bed, Sonny’s head resting on his chest, arms wrapped around his torso and had been for a while. The sun had set a few hours ago and they had decided that it would be better for both of their backs if they laid on a bed instead of a couch.

“Yeah?” Pete replied, shifting a little so he could see Sonny’s face if he looked up at him.

“Do you have much paint kicking around?” Sonny asked.

“I’ve got some, I guess. Not a ton, just some partially used cans. Why?” Pete asked. While Sonny would express interest in Pete’s painting and other art, he never really inquired about it in this way – as if he wanted to make some himself.

“I was just thinking of doing something for Usnavi – as a leaving gift of sorts,” Sonny said, rolling off Pete’s chest and laying on his back, “what if I fixed the grate on the bodega and then we painted a little remembrance shrine to Abuela Claudia or something?”

“Huh,” Pete said, ideas beginning to form in his brain, “with some tropical colors, we could make it look like she was back in Cuba again.” Pete always remembered Claudia telling them stories of Cuba when they were younger.

“Yeah,” Sonny said before looking up at Pete, his eyes standing out against the rest of his face in the light from the street shining in the window. “You’re the artist man. As long as we get it done by tomorrow morning. Usnavi’s flight leaves at noon.”

“We better get going then,” Pete said, sitting up. Looking around his room, he was able to spot his shorts where he had kicked them just a few hours earlier. Sonny, however, seemed less inclined to move once it was actually happening.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, looking over at where Sonny was sitting on the bed, his arms crossed tight over top of his bare chest.

“I can’t put my binder back on, already worn it way longer than eight hours today,” Sonny said, his face sprouting a pout as he looked down at his crossed legs.

“Wear one of my sweatshirts,” Pete said, moving over to his closet and pulling out one that was so old, it was worn thin. Thankfully in the night, the heat of the day had gone and was replaced by a cool breeze off the Hudson. Sonny wouldn’t overheat in the sweatshirt.

“Thanks Pete,” Sonny said, taking it from him. Pete passed Sonny his shorts from earlier in the day before taking Sonny’s binder and tank top and shoving them into his backpack.

“C’mon, lets go look for some colors to use,” Pete said, pulling Sonny off his bed with a hand.

* * *

The bodega was still in a state of ruin as they walked up to it. Sonny felt Pete squeeze his hand tighter as they approached it. The sign that used to read “De La Vega Bodega” was ripped and hanging haphazardly from the metal frame underneath it. Glass littered the street curb from the shattered front window and the register was tipped over inside. Thankfully they kept no money in the store after cash-out. The most the vandals could have stolen was goods. And in the grand scheme of things, that could be easily replaced. Besides, it was only the storefront that had gotten ruined. The big door that kept the back room safe was safely locked in the morning.

“Lemme go find the toolkit,” Sonny said, leaving Pete standing on the street as he entered the broken-up carcas of the store. In the back room, right where he had left it, Sonny found the toolkit and brought it back to the street.

“Wanna lower the grate and I’ll get painting while you work on getting the mechanism back into place?” Pete offered as Sonny set the toolkit down on the sidewalk.

“Sure, lemme go align it in the tracks,” Sonny said, heading back into the store. In a few minutes, he had managed to unscrew the grate from its tracks so they could just let it down and then he could replace what he had taken apart.

“You gotta keep the sides even,” Sonny said to Pete through the broken window. Reaching up to support the heavy grate, they both lowered it down manually. Now that the storefront was at least covered over in the heavy metal covering, Pete could get to work on his art while Sonny took to replacing the tracks and getting the crank back in place.

“You know,” Sonny said as he dug through the kit for a wrench, “this was my uncle’s.”

“The toolkit?” Pete asked as he shook the spray cans in whichever two colors he was planning on using first.

“Yup. Usnavi’s dad used to fix the store with it. But I don’t really remember him, I was only six when they died,” Sonny said. He knew he was rambling, but he always worked better when he was able to talk. And talking to himself was never as satisfying.

“You know, I remember when they both died. Less than a week apart too,” Pete said and Sonny could hear the familiar sound of paint coming from the can.

“Usnavi was only fourteen, and suddenly he was alone. He originally came to stay with me and my mom. But then my mom got arrested for drug possession, I think, and we both moved in with Abuela Claudia.”

“I remember the first time I met Claudia,” Pete said, “I decided that I wanted to come home from school with you instead of taking the bus back to whatever home I was living at at the time.”

“Oh yeah!” Sonny said as he reached into the toolkit in search of a bolt that wasn’t striped within an inch of its life, “and she gave you cookies and milk and we stole the tv remote from Usnavi and Benny.” Sonny and Pete were two grades apart for a few years until Pete got held back a year. Then they ended up in the same split class. It was a grade one/two split and the tiniest kid got paired with the oldest kid somehow. Sonny and Pete became instant friends, regardless of their difference in age. But at that time, Pete was living in foster care and kept being bounced around from home to home, so he would randomly disappear from school for days at a time. One evening, Pete had managed to convince Sonny that they should walk home together, even though Pete lived in the opposite direction. But Abuela Claudia had loved Pete on the spot, regardless of how poor his behavior could get sometimes.

“Cariño,” Pete said after a few moments of comfortable silence, “come look at what I have so far.” Sonny walked out of the store and saw the vibrant colors making gorgeous designs on the grate. There were oranges, reds and yellows marking it up to look like beaches and palm trees against a vibrant sunset.

“Its beautiful,” Sonny said, going on his tiptoes to give Pete a kiss, “I’m almost done fixing the track for the grate.”

“You have a picture of Claudia in your wallet, right?” Pete asked and Sonny nodded his head, pulling his tattered wallet from one of the pockets on his shorts. “I was thinking of painting her face in the middle with the words “Paciencia y Fe” across the bottom.”

“That sounds so good Pete!” Sonny said, passing over the picture from his wallet before heading back inside the store. He found a Phillips head screwdriver from the toolkit and got to work aligning the tracks.

“You look nothing like you did in this picture anymore,” Pete said softly from outside the store. The picture Sonny kept in his wallet was one of their block. Claudia was standing in the middle with the De La Vega’s on one side of her and the Rosarios on the other side. It was taken before Usnavi’s parents died and Sonny’s mom had been arrested the first time. They were all smiling, Usnavi holding Sonny’s hand and Nina standing just over Sonny’s other shoulder. He really had no idea why he liked that picture so much, maybe because it was a reminder of a more simple time. But every time he showed someone it, they either assumed that he was Usnavi or inquired why he wasn’t in the picture. And that's where the world’s most awkward explanation came into being. He was the little girl holding Usnavi’s hand in the yellow flowered sundress.

“I sure hope I look different,” Sonny said, trying to keep his voice light.

“You look good now Sonny,” Pete said, coming around the side of the store and poking his head in, “you look like you now. I looked at that little kid and I saw someone who hates themselves.”

“Still hate my body,” Sonny grumbled. And he did, but one of these days he’d get enough money to start changing that.

“I know cariño,” Pete said, walking over to kiss Sonny’s forehead, “but you’re such an adorable young man now.”

* * *

Pete realized that he would never have the true experience of feeling so much hatred of oneself that he would feel the desire to end his own life. He could still remember the morning in his last year, of school, when he got called down to the office and the principal told him that Sonny was in the hospital because he had decided to jump out in front of a car on his walk to school.

In Pete’s opinion, he had never known Sonny as Sonya, because he never was. Even from day one when they were table mates, he only saw a little boy who just happened to have a girls name. So that's how they grew up. When they were in grade five and six, respectably, Sonny finally explained it to him, how he felt and said he wanted to be called “Sonny” for the rest of his life. So Pete did.

He had assumed incorrectly that when Sonny came out as transgender to his family and the rest of the neighbourhood at the start of his grade ten year, just in time to start high school, that he would be more happy. Sure, he was a little happier, but he was bullied everyday and it seemed to make him all that more aware of the fact that he was truly trapped in his body.

Then he would say things like, “Still hate my body,” and it made Pete just want to wrap him in a massive hug. He wished Sonny could see himself like how Pete saw him. If he could do that for Sonny, he would do it in an instant.

Pete added, “It’ll change soon, so we’ve just gotta wait for that.”

“Yeah, I know,” Sonny said, leaning against Pete’s arm.

“How’s the grate repair going?” Pete asked, trying to change the topic.

“Good,” Sonny replied, a smile ghosting across his lips, “a few more screws and we’ll be good to go. What time is it?”

“Almost four,” Pete replied, checking the time against the phone in his pocket.

“Is the mural almost done? Usnavi will probably be awake and down here around five.”

“Yup, just a few more outlines and it’ll be good to go,” Pete replied, before adding, “who’s gonna run the shop when he leaves?”

 

“Don’t know, said he had some daytime person lined up and I’ll keep doing my time after school,” Sonny said, shrugging. Pete wanted to hit Usnavi for being so inconsiderate in that moment. Sonny was smart. There was no reason that he should be holding down the fort on the bodega while Usnavi fucked off to timbuktu. Sonny was sixteen for goodness sakes, he should be worrying about school work, not running this shit show.

But then they had shown Usnavi the mural on the grate, and he had yelled at them to go find the neighbourhood because he was staying. It took Pete a while to register what he was actually being told. Usnavi was staying? Wasn’t he heading to Playa Rincon? At the same time, he wasn’t really planning on questioning it. Usnavi was staying, that would be good for all of them. As they ran through the neighbourhood, trying to find as many of their neighbours as humanly possible, he felt Sonny grab onto his hand, pull a little to slow them down.

“Pete,” Sonny said and they both stopped running.

“What’s wrong cariño?” Pete asked once he saw the weird look on his boyfriend’s face.

“Usnavi is staying,” Sonny said, “Shouldn’t I be trying to talk him out of this?”

“Nah, this was his decision, and it's a good one for everyone. Just let it happen, yeah?”

* * *

They got back to the bodega, Nina and Benny in tow and saw most of the street in front of the shop. Usnavi got a massive man-clench-hug from Benny before pulling Sonny into a similar hug. He let himself go willingly into the arms of his cousin, relaxing into the embrace. Once the grip loosened a little, Usnavi looked into Sonny’s face.

“We de la Vega’s need to stick together,” Usnavi said, just loud enough to be heard over the commotion in front of the bodega, “I’m sorry I ever considered leaving in the first place. My family is right here.”

“I’m glad you’re staying,” Sonny said before leaning in for another hug from Usnavi. Once they pulled away, Usnavi was dragged into the crowd by Daniella, who pushed him towards Vanessa. Suddenly, Carla’s hands were on Sonny’s shoulders and he was heading in the direction of Pete.

“He’s staying,” Sonny whispered when Pete enveloped him in his arms, kissing the top of his head through his cap.

“Yeah,” Pete replied, tucking Sonny under his arm, where he always felt the safest. Sonny looked up at Pete, his smile shining in the dim light of their street. Maybe everything would be okay after all.  It had been a long three days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking a lot about how angry Sonny must have been when Usnavi decided he was going to leave.
> 
> Also, beats me if "Playa Rincon" is actually where Usnavi was planning on going, but he expresses interest in that beach in "Hundreds of Stories," so I decided to use it.
> 
> Lastly, I'm thinking of maybe doing a short where Sonny finally gets his T and top surgery with the money from the lotto. Something cute with him and Pete in the future where Sonny is high on meds after the surgery. All fluff kinda thing for y'all to look for

**Author's Note:**

> Sonny is trans and no one can convince me otherwise. But really, he is totally wearing a binder (or something that looks suspiciously like a binder) most of the time. 
> 
> I realize that canonically, Sonny is only 16 and Pete is 18. But every single thing is 100% consensual between the two of them and always has been. I don't know anything about how legal consent age rules worked in New York in 2008, but I want to make it super clear that this is consensual. And due to that, I didn't tag for underage because that usually implies either really young, or non-consensual elements.
> 
> Also, I'm taking the looks of the characters from the original broadway cast of In The Heights, so Sonny is played by Robin de Jesus, Pete is played by Seth Stewart, Usnavi is played by Lin-Maunel Miranda etc etc etc....


End file.
